“I started to little by little, remember something, but it’s hard for me, but now its not as much as when I was in the hospital because I didn’t remember nothing.”

When Jose Rios was around 21 years old, he was at work and it was a normal day for him so far, but he didn’t know that would change very soon. 

He had finished work and got a call from his father if he would come pick him up. He responded by saying he would go with his cousin even though his parents didn’t want him to go with his uncle.

What happens next is a bit of a mystery, but he was shot on his left side of his chest. When he was getting surgery, he was losing oxygen to his brain which was the reason he had gotten brain damage. 

He had lost his memory and was confused by what was going on. When he was brought home after he recovered, he was happy.

This caused him to not be able to walk anymore and having to be in a wheelchair. He has seizures every year and has trouble seeing.

Transcript:

Stephanie Bravo: What do you miss the most that you were able to do that can’t do now?

Jose Rios: That I can not walk.

SB: Why? 

JR: I can not see good cause I can not see my mother good. I can not see my father good. I don’t remember my family. I don’t remember… I don’t really remember, but… but the sons of my sisters that’s the most that I miss. That I can’t… and I… I miss that I can not see good and that my right eye, I can not… I can not see good, but I could see a little from my left, that’s fine. But, that’s the most that I can not walk, I can not see good, I can not even work, I can not have brain damage, and that’s the most that I…I can not remember nothing about my past, my present or. It’s hard that I can’t… I have to remember something, but I can not cause my brain damage. 

SB: So, from your right eye you can’t see as much as you can from your left eye. So, its like you’re more blind from the left.

JR: My left eye I can barely see my sister’s daughter Stephanie. That’s the most. That I have to… that my mother had to tell me everything, everything. She had to tell me everything little by little everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday, everything since my accident, every year, every year, every year. I started to little by little, remember something, but it’s hard for me, but now it´s not as much as when I was in the hospital because I didn’t remember nothing. So when I came to my house, I was so happy, I was so happy that when I came here, I seen my sisters daughters. I could remember… I started to remember little by little. I was so happy that I started to cry for my… for happiness. And just by talking little by little right now, a little hard for me to not cry because I am so happy.

SB: How old or how old do you think you were when you had the accident? When your accident happened?

JR: I don’t remember nothing because I got brain damage. 

SB: So, since that happened how old do you suspect you were? Like how old do you think you were when this happened?

JR: I think I was a little boy, like a little boy. Like my sister’s daughter or my sister’s sons that I was a little kid. I was a little boy and my mom had to tell me, you’re an uncle. I couldn’t believe it that I am an uncle. I’m like what?

SB: What do you remember or what were you told when the accident happened? 

JR: My mom told me everything. I don’t know nothing. All… I couldn’t see nothing. Since my accident happened, I have brain damage and I couldn’t see nothing, and when I opened my eyes. I was like… I didn’t know nothing cause I have brain damage so my mom had to tell me. I didn’t know she was a mother or she had to tell me, I’m your mother, he’s your father. Um, see the pictures. This is your sisters, sisters daughters, her husbands, her sons, uncles, aunts, and I was like what?! 

SB: How did you feel when you found out you couldn’t walk anymore? 

JR: I didn’t know nothing. I saw people walking and I’m in the bed. I didn’t know nothing. I thought I was like a little boy. Maybe like a little boy barely born.

SB: Other times we have talk, you would tell me that you were working at the time when this happened.

JR: What?

SB: Other times when we talked about this, you would tell me that you were at work and you were with your cousin and your parents told you that to not go with your cousin, but you still went and that’s when…around when the accident happened. Is it hard to exactly remember what happened during the accident because people keep telling you different things?

JR: My mother had to tell me everything. Everything that I couldn’t… When this accident happened to me my mom told me you father called you from work with your phone. Then my mom told me that my father called me and I said no my cousin is going to take me home. I’m like maybe if I didn’t tell my father that my cousin was going to take me home, maybe I should have told my father, yes come pick me up and take me home. Maybe this wouldn’t happen to me. Maybe this would have never happened to me, but things happen. Things happen, even if you don’t think so, but when this happened could blame me happened something else and maybe it would have happened something worse. Something worse, but now maybe this is good if this didn’t happen and maybe something worse would have happened. Thank god that he’s here with me and I’m in my room, my own room. My own bed, my own TV, my own refrigerator, my own clothes, everything that’s in this room is all mine. Thank god that I have something that is mine and they will not take it away from me. Thank god. Thank god that I can still see a little cause there are other people that can not see nothing, can not see nothing. They don’t have their mother, their father, or something else. Thank god I have my own mother, my father, my sisters, her husbands, her sons, her daughters, her sons. Thank god that I can see them a little, not as much, but I could see them a little. Thank god. Thank god he’s still me with me. He will never leave me. He will never leave me. Thank God.

SB: How hard was it to remember everyone? Like how long did it take to remember everyone?

JR: Nothing because before, when this happened to me, when I started seeing a little, my vision was a little worse, but then god I could still see something cause when this happened to me I still have brain damage, I still have the brain damage. When I’m still… thank god that I still know when I’m about to have a seizure, I have a little thingy bell, ring bell to call my mother, my father, my sisters, some sons of sisters who know and will come right away and my mother will come check me. She knows when I’m about to have a seizure. She calls right away. I think it’s 911 that she calls. Calls the ambulance right away to take me to hospital thank god. That he’s still with me and he will never leave me. 

SB: Do you think you can describe how you feel when you have your seizures?

JR: I know its cause I know this because since it start from my feet, I feel like, I feel little harder, little when I  about to have, I don’t know how I gonna say it like right now cause my brain it’s not so good like it was, but I know because from my feet I started feeling when I’m about to have a seizure and start numb, they start numb and hard like if someone is pressuring my legs and they start from my feet, they go all the way to my legs, the knee, comes all the way to my stomach, to my chest, all the way to my neck is when I’m about to have a seizure and I call right away. And my mom knows cause she sees it, she sees it in my face and I know cause my head starts going to the right and like I stop, my mom tries to stop it, but like my head is stronger than my… pressuring me all the way, all the way, all the way, but when it goes all the way to my right, seeing with the left, is like I don’t know how to say it, but it does it right their and she sees it in my eye. And my mouth starts all the way with my, when I have a lot of saliva and starts with all the way. My mother gets some like tissues or something and she puts it all the way like a little ball and put it in my mouth cause my mouth will not get closed, cause if it gets closed my… [ shows me his tongue] 

SB: Your tongue?

JR: To my tongue, pressuring to my, pressuring cause I’m about to bite my ….

SB: Your tongue?

JR: Bite my neck. Pressuring… its like I’ma break it or like I’ma pressure it,  I don’t feel so good. When I wake up, I don’t see I’m in my room no more, I’m in the hospital. I’m like oh no, where’s my mother? Wheres my father? Where, where, where? Mother, father, sisters, husbands, her sons, her daughters, her everything. I’m not in my house no more. It feels not so good. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good. Well, thank god that I still know, I still know when I’m about to have a seizure cause right away I call them cause if I don’t call them, like if I couldn’t call them, maybe I would have killed myself. Not like me wanting to, but like from my seizure will kill me. I think, thank god that I still know when I’m about to have a seizure. 

SB: You forgot to mention the part where sometimes you don’t go to the hospitals when you have seizures, but sometimes grandma does spray water on you, cold water to keep you awake.

JR: Yes. That’s the thing that since I have the brain damage, I forget a lot of stuff that they have to remember and then I remember. Oh yeah, my mother puts a lot of water on my face and they kinda wake me up. I forget they told my mother when I was in another hospital and share my business or share my notes. I was in the hospital, but there was a nurse, a man nurse that, I remember from my father or my mother told them your son is too young, too young to be in this hospital cause in this hospital there’s a lot of old people. Look, I’m going to give you this number and they have a bed, they have a bed in this hospital. They have a room, they have a room in this hospital. Call this hospital and tell them you have a son, you have a son and he needs to be in this hospital. In the Alhambra because in this hospital they have a room. Call this hospital and tell them, tell them you want your son to come to this hospital, to Alhambra. Call them, call them cause your son is too young to be in the Alhambra. Tell them you want him to be in the Alhambra Hospital. 

SB: Yeah, cause if I remember Grandma would usually tell the um ambulances to take you to that hospital specifically. She would always tell them to take you to that hospital.

JR: Yeah, yeah my mother called them and this hospital I was sure enough that would not take me away cause they said this hospital, we have everything. We have doctors and everything, but share my bed in Alhambra. We have doctors here, when you have a seizure, we’ll send them all the way to the floor. They have a doctor right there that does surgery, tell him what he needs and the doctors here will help him. Will help him. My mother called but in the other hospital they didn’t want to let me go. They didn’t want to let me go, but in Alhambra started fighting and fighting tell them no, give him a bed bath, give him a bed bath. 

SB: Well, that’s the end of this interview. Thank you for doing this interview with me and yeah. 

JR: No, thank you.