Ms. Ramirez, a math professor at ELAC and instructor of the Jaime Escalante Program at JMS, reflects on her regrets in high school, particularly not heeding her mother’s advice about peer influence. She had to repeat ninth grade and attended night school in 10th and 11th grades to catch up. Becoming a young mother and a single parent further challenged her, but her motivation to succeed for her children helped her persevere.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Yamilet Galvan: my name is Yamilet. I am 13 years old, and today I’m speaking with…
Ms. Ramirez: Ms. Ramirez.
YG: She is my math college teacher and..- What are some regrets you had while in school or at your job?
MR: Well, I believe that some of my biggest regrets while I was in school, especially high school, is not listening to my mom when she would tell me that there were no real friends and that it mattered with what crowd you hung out with, because, you know, some people will influence you to not care about your education, or, you know, if you would- were doing wrong in a course like- or..or like, you know, getting bad grades in the course. Some of these so-called “friends” will tell you like… “Oh, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. We all mess up,” or whatnot. But if you were really in a crowd that… you know… really believes in you, or that you know- are your friends in good faith? You know… they would tell you, “Hey, what’s going on? What do you- what are you doing? Why are you getting, you know, bad grades?” or… and they wouldn’t peer pressure you into, like, skipping class or, you know, doing things you’re not supposed to do while in school. So.. me not listening to my mom like, it really impacted, you know, while I was in- going to high school.
YG: Um, if you had the chance, would you go back and change that?
MR: I would, I would, because, believe it or not, it- I had to repeat ninth grade, like, in- when I say I had to repeat it.. I didn’t get held back, But, within the 10th and 11th grade, I had-, I was doing night school. So, I was going to school in the morning, regular classes, like, you know, my 10th grade classes, my 11th grade classes… but in the night time, I would have to go back to school to make up my entire ninth grade year. So…I…I would go back and change it and actually focus with-…to what I had to focus, which was like, my education and, you know, making sure I was completing my work and studying the way…you know, I’m supposed to be studying…and not…, you know, falling behind.
YG: Was it a really major part of your life? And…never mind. Okay…did it take a big toll on your academic studies and how you perceived your friends?
MR: Yeah, it did. Because the minute I started like hanging out with a different crowd, um, and I started doing better in my academics, you know, the crowd I used to hang out with–that didn’t really care if I was doing good or was doing bad–they stopped…They started acting different. And…when I would like, oh, and just check in with them and whatnot, they would- they would be like, oh, like, they would act like, if they didn’t know me. You know…? and it was like…okay, like…? and then when they would, like, you know- a lot of them invited me to skip classes and whatnot. And did I do it? Yes, I did. I used to skip classes, and sometimes I would even leave campus. And, you know, it was, it was something that, if somebody really wants something good for- for you, they wouldn’t be asking you to do things that are going to affect you. So, when I stopped, like, you know- when they- when they started, like, inviting me to skip classes or to skip school, and I will say no, like, I’m actually going to go to class and do my work, and, you know, try to bring my grades up, they started acting different. Like, oh, you ain’t fun no more, you ain’t cool no more. And it’s like, like, what? Just because I want to do good, you know, in school and actually make something out of myself, like…Now I can’t hang out with you guys? Or you guys don’t want- don’t want to know anything about me? So, you know, it kind of hurt, because they were, like, my so called, “best friends.” And then, you know, all of a sudden, because I actually wanted to do something better for me, like, they just like, you know, disregarded me, and they would pretend like if they didn’t know me. So it was kind of like difficult, but the new crowd of friends that I…that I had–where we would get together and we would study together, and if I was having struggles with something–they will help me out. Like, that’s when I started learning, like, okay, there, there’s actually a group of friends that you could actually like trust in as far as like, wanting something good for you. So…
YG: Okay, well…are there any other challenges that you face which made you the first time you are today?
MR: As a matter of fact, yes…because I became a young mom. You know, I was- I was, I got pregnant in high school, and I continue pursuing my education goals while, I had, you know, three kids, and I graduated college and all that. But, it was really difficult, because during that time I also, after, you know, after having my kids and whatnot, like, I also became a a single mom. So, being a single mom like it- like, it showed me a lot. It showed me how to become stronger. It showed me that it’s okay to fail, as long as you get back up. And you know, even though it was difficult, like my motivation was my kids. You know why? I didn’t want them to think that it’s okay to start something and then quit. Like, regardless of the challenges that life could throw at you, like, in- in the times that you may fall like it’s okay, you know, like you there’s always, there’s always something that’s gonna, you know, make you want to give up, but as long as you trust yourself and you believe in yourself like- you just push through. So, I do like- I do- I do believe that all the hardships that I went through in life make me the person that I am today. And I do consider myself a strong person and even though sometimes I may still face challenges, like- I just keep pushing through. I just keep pushing through. And…now it’s not just for my kids, but it’s for the kids that I teach too. Because nowadays, like, I have seen a lot of kids that really don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t care about their education. A lot of kids are just handed things without even trying. So, when I come across these students, I feel like, you know, they they need to- they need people in their lives that have gone through hard times to make them understand that it’s okay to go through hard times. But, you know, everything in the end is only going to be for you and your own well being. So, if they’re able to see that, then they’ll motivate themselves to keep going.
YG: Okay, um, how did you- how did you find a better version of you?
MR: Well, like I said, like, you know, in high school I had a lot of struggles. Like, I’m not- I’m not gonna sugarcoat anything like, I had a lot of struggles where I was very, very, rebellious. I would not listen to my mom. My mom would tell me a lot like, you know, “Oh, there’s no real friends..” And you know, “You trust people and they could turn their backs on you…” And, you know, because I had it really rough growing up, I always considered myself to be like the black sheep of the family. So, when I would go to school, you know, I wouldn’t hang out with the right crowds. I did believe they were my friends and whatnot…But, at the end, like, once I became a mom, I realized that everything that my mom would tell me…It was for my own…Well…- Now, do I do things like my mom did? No, I don’t, because there were a lot of things that I don’t agree that my mom did. So, then I did make a change, you know, to do different things with my own kids so that they know that they could always come an- and trust me and talk to me like, I don’t be I- I don’t try to be my kids.. my kids friend, because a parent could never be a friend. But, I do try to have the type of communication with my kids that if something that’s really bugging them, or something that’s really like, troubling them, that, you know, they could come in and- they could come in and actually talk to me and let me know what’s going on, and I feel like because of that, like, I became a better person. Like it WAS hard. It was hard because part of the reason why I did end up pregnant in high school is because, again, I didn’t believe a lot of the things that my mom will say, and I kind of did things all the wrong way and.. and then when I when I found out that I was gonna have a child, like, it completely.. changed my life. Because now, it wasn’t just my life that I was going to be ruining if I followed the same steps, but it was, you know, the life of my child. So, I-, I always told myself, like, I’m going to be better. I’m going to be better.. And even if I- if I continue to have challenges, and I continue to fall, like, I’m going to get back up. You know, a lot of people didn’t believe, you know, they didn’t believe in me. They didn’t believe that I was going to, you know, get to where I’m at today. A lot of people will say, “Oh, you’re pregnant.” “You think you’re going to be able to continue to go to school,” and “you think you’re going to continue, you know, to finish your education.” But- you know, “You’re going to be a young mom, and that’s all your life is all-” They basically told me, “Your life is going to be all about changing diapers,” you know, and “taking care of your child.” But I told myself it wasn’t. I told myself that if- that I was going to finish school, get my career and do something so that the day that my kids grow up and they see me, they know “My mom did it,” even though she had all these struggles. So, I proved a lot of people wrong. I and- You know, and because of those people being so negative, and, you know, putting me down, I took that negativity and I turned around to being positive for me and doing that like.. and- I basically made everybody else like, take their words back. So, that was a very proud moment to know that those people that actually, you know, thought that I wasn’t going to be anyone now, look at me and be like, “Oh, you actually did it. Like you proved us all wrong.” And, you know, their apologies and all that, like, that meant a lot.. because I was not going to be home stuck changing just diapers and whatnot. Like I went to school, I had a job. And I had two jobs because I would have to come back home, take care of my kids. And then I had another job because, you know, obviously I would pay people to take care of my kids. So, you know, the sacrifices that I had to make about leaving my kids with somebody else to take care of while I worked and I, you know, went to school, they paid off. They paid off because now I’m allowed to take time to be with my kid while they’re going through their academics, while they, you know, they’re involved in, you know, extracurricular activities or sports, like, I’m able to be there and cheer them on. And that’s something that I never had growing up. So, me knowing that I made a difference, and that, you know, I made a difference for them, like- make me the person that I am today, and they make me proud. They make me proud, because that’s not something that I had growing up. So.. Yeah.
YG: Okay, thank you for sharing your story. I really appreciate it, and your story is awesome.
MR: Thank you.
