“Well.. things just didn’t go as planned you know sometimes people aren’t as understanding as others.”

Summary

In November of 2022, Xitlaly Canela started struggling with mental health issues. She lived a joyful life until one day it wasn’t. Xitlaly could no longer go do the things she most enjoyed. It took a while, but finally, she overcame her struggle with the help of supportive friends and family

Transcript

Dayana Vazquez: Hi my name is Dayana Vazquez, and today I am going to be interviewing my sister Xitlaly Canela. 

Xitlaly Canela: Hi. 

DV: The first question I’m going to ask you is: What is something that impacted your life? 

XC: Well…during my junior year of high school I struggled a lot with my mental health and I had severe anxiety, and it really got in the way of my education and my daily life. Um…I- It was really hard for me to leave the house, like even to go to the corner or outside on the sidewalk. It was mentally impossible. Um…It was also very hard for me to go to school because I was just really scared, and you know It just felt like everyone was judging me for everything. Um…and then yeah- It got  to the point where um, Like I said, it got in the way of my education and I stopped going to school. Umm I  was missing a lot of days, I had many absences as well as tardies. And the school started to you know get worried about it, so they organized a lot of meetings, you know with me and my mom. And they came up with a plane but you know I felt like things were just getting worse and worse. Umm my school ended up providing a therapist for me. 

DV: Did the therapy help?

XC: It…I feel like when I did, the therapy things when down hill. 

DV: How? In what ways? 

XC: Because I don’t know, I kinda started talking about my emotions more which made me realize, like, about everything that was going on, and I actually ended up falling into a depression. Which made my school situation even worse. I stopped going for about…uh…I wanna say like a month, like I wouldn’t go or nothing. Umm…and it got to the point we’re I had to switch to online school. And umm…due to me switching I actually wasn’t able to graduate the year I was supposed to. Umm which sucks but you know, um things happen for a reason and things got in the way. 

DV: Are you still doing online school right now? 

XC: Yeah I am. Um, I’m doing my sophomore year, I’m actually going to be graduating in March of 2025. 

DV: And how is online school going?

XC: It’s going great. Um…what I like about it is that I could, you know, do things at my own time, I kind of, you know, make my own schedule. Um…and I’m able to work, because you know I decided to work. Things got a lot better actually.  

DV: In what ways? 

XC: Well I started going out more, before I wouldn’t. Like I said I couldn’t even go on the sidewalk because it was very scary to me. Um…I don’t really remember the details, it’s all a blur, and I choose to keep it that way because honestly just remembering about those dark times I went through brings like bad memories, you know? 

DV: Did this depression affect any people around you? 

XC : Um it did, Um…my mom struggled a lot as well because she was trying to, you know, get me out the house. Get me to go to school. Obviously she wanted the best for me. Um..but you know, things were just not going good. Um…and obviously she did everything she could. Uh…my grandma as well, she tried helping me with whatever she could. Uh…which I really do thank them for that . You know, they like tried doing like helping me. Um…and know I owe them everything. 

DV: Did this also affect any of your friendships? 

XC: It did actually, I lost some friends as well as gained some friends, I  kind of saw who wanted the best for me and who was really there for me. Umm…also during that time I did stop talking to a lot of people, not because I didn’t like them, or you know had problems with people, I just like kind of pushed myself away from people as well. But I’m also really thankful for you know those friends and like anyone for that matter that reached out to me,  you know was there for me, and supporting me. 

DV: How did your friends support you? 

XC: Um…they would talk to me everyday, they would kind of motivate me like oh you can do it, you know, they would invite me to stores, which I would decline. Um..,but just the thought of having these friends, you know, was- it was like good. 

DV: And what happened to the friends you lost? 

XC: Well…things just didn’t go as planned you know sometimes people aren’t as understanding as others. Which sucks because some of the friendships were really good and they were friendships I have had since middle school. Um…but I mean, I really can’t do much. I you know, just wish them nothing but the best. 

DV: And when you didn’t go out what would you do at home? 

XC: Honestly I would just stay in my room in my bed, most of the time on my phone, um…sometimes reading a book- I have a collection of those. Um…or sometimes rally in my thoughts witch I think that’s what caused me to go into that deep depression because I was being in my head all the time, and I would just overthink everything and they kind of just made it worse, and I dealt with that over a year. 

DV: Yeah I remember it was over a year, and what was your process into healing? 

XC: Well honestly like I said, I went through that for over a year and I kinda just got tired of it. You know I felt like people… just started giving up on me like ohh this girl is never gonna get better, you know this and that. And you know I was just tired of the whole thing, tired of being at home. And I decided to be brave about it, you know not to over think it. And you I’m more outside. Uh…I remember the first door I stepped into was actually a Macy’s, and my mom and my grandma were actually pushing me into going into the store, and honestly if it wasn’t for them pushing me and their persistence, I would’ve probably stayed at the same state I was at. And thanks to that I started going to more and more stores, you know definitely went out of my comfort zone a lot. And know I’m always out you know, I feel like if I stop going out I’m going to go back like how it was before. And I’m trying to prevent that. 

DV: And how are you doing know?

XC: I’m going really great, you know like I said I’m doing school. I’m working. I’m going out a lot more you know with family and friends, going on trips as well. Um…and yeah it’s been good you know working and making my own money. And you know as well as studying, like I said at my school I can make my own schedule which makes it easier for me to work and do school at the same time. 

DV: And do you have any advice for someone who is struggling with their mental health? 

XC: Yeah I do you know it-it gets easier. I know it may be scary and it feels like your whole world is crumbling and there really is no solution to what you’re going through. There is you know as someone who went down a deep hole of anxiety and depression, you will make it out. It’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to be fast. But it will happen. Things always get better with the right people and right support. Um…I’m just really glad I had a lot of support with me. Um… and honestly if you’re going through that, anyways reach out to anybody, ask for help. Um… that’s definitely something I did you know how not alone. There’s millions of other people that go through the same thing, and like I said never give up, you know, you’re strong. And I was told this quote by one of my really really close friends whom I still talk to and they said that “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers” which is something that kind of got me motivated. 

DV: Well thank you for letting me interview you about your life struggles. I admire you kept going even when it was really dark and I am very proud of you. And I look up to you a lot. Like you don’t understand how much I look up to you.

XC: Aww thank you so much for having me, anytime.